The Smugglers Inn

The hotel staff were friendly and helpful. The menu selection for dinner was good and was the food itself was well cooked. Breakfast was also good. The room was nicely decorated, clean, tidy and the beds were comfortable. The bathroom was fine but the shower head didn't fit with the holder and you couldn't adjust the height as that too was broken. This a basic requirement that needs to function properly. Also we couldn't watch the TV in our roon as the aerial didn't work despite moving it. I mentioned the above points to to a member if staff before I checked out. It's a good location for Newquay airport as it's a 5 minute walk to the airport terminal

Would never visit this venue again. The bathroom was dirty. The toilet bowl leaked so floor was wet. The bath and sink were grubby. The bedroom needed refreshing, and in parts was grubby and you could wipe off the dust from the bedhead with your fingers. Bedhead was loose so if you turned in the night it hit the wall. There was no one to complain to as checking out you just had to leave keys on unattended table.

Well what can i say about the “smugglers inn?” Well I'll tell you what I can say - it was absolutely disgusting and the service was shocking and it is probably very accurate in that things are being smuggled or passed around in there! Yes it is true that we had just been to a comic - con in cornwall and had suits on but for who I can only presume was the landlady to say “i thought you were taking the piss” as we walked in wearing clothes that were not that unusual in that it consisted of trousers, a top, boots and a cape (no facial decoration or loud headdress) is offensive and not the sort of salutation i would expect. Now to be fair I don't speak Cornish but I'm pretty sure that foul language is the same all over england and certainly not the way that you would greet guests no matter what their appearance. I would suggest my dear that you find what is called a mirror, have a little look in it and see whether you think your appearance takes the aforementioned form of urine and perhaps at the same time practice your greetings to future guests should you actually receive any. You could use the female who served breakfast (or not as the case was because we left before she even took our order because it was taking so long) and you could take it in turns to greet a customer or take an order. We had an amazing breakfast a little way down the road by the way. Your time zone must be very different from the rest of Cornwall because every person sat in that dining room was waiting, and waiting, waiting some more and then finally when there was a glimmer of home, they waited some more. Coffees were coming out to tables one by one so may I introduce to you a very useful contraption called a tray; which is actually very clever in that it actually allows you to carry several items of food and drink at the same time! I would also like to inform you of a piece of equipment called a clock - a fantastically useful device which allows the user to do things in a timely manner. It's revolutionary and will improve your lives and “running of a business” dramatically. The best part was at breakfast when the fire alarm activated. Now credit where it's due, i was actually surprised that they worked given that not much else did in there and it was reasonable to assume that given the time of day (not that any of the staff knew) that a burnt piece of toast or an over crisped sausage may have been the perpetrator in such an activation. but as no member of staff appeared we were all about to evacuate when low and behold, the chef appeared. but wait, he was dressed as a chef but was unsteady on his feet and slurring the words. That's right it was the absolutely blotted barman from the night before nursing a very considerable hangover with an apron, checkered trousers and a spatula! Who said men could not multi-task?! Thank goodness that there wasn't a fire because the first thing to have combusted would have been him with all that alcohol secreted within his bodily