"Eastern Med Cruise: 7 Days of Gyros, Gods & Glittering Water" 🇬🇷🏛️💃

#cruiseholiday Hold onto your sunhats—this isn’t just a cruise, it’s a mythical Greek drama where you’ll OD on baklava, accidentally offend a local by mispronouncing "Yamas!", and lose your dignity (but find your soul) in a Santorini sunset. Here’s my chaotically divine itinerary: Day 1: Athens 🇬🇷 7 AM: Climbed the Acropolis before the crowds (and heatstroke). Hot Take: The Parthenon is just okay compared to the €3 gyro I ate after. 3 PM: Got scammed by a "lucky bracelet" guy in Plaka. Pro Tip: Say "Oxi!" and sprint. Day 2: Mykonos 🇬🇷 11 AM: Took 1,284 Instagram shots at Little Venice (windmill photobombs included). 9 PM: Danced on tables at Scorpios with a Swedish DJ named Lars. Regrets? Zero. Day 3: Ephesus 🇹🇷 8 AM: Walked the Library of Celsus like a gladiator (flip-flops = tragic). 1 PM: Haggled for a "genuine fake" Rolex. Won? Absolutely not. Day 4: Rhodes 🇬🇷 10 AM: Got lost in the Old Town and pretended it was on purpose. 2 PM: Ate moussaka so good I texted my ex "You’ll never believe this." Day 5: Santorini 🇬🇷 7 AM: Hiked Skaros Rock for that postcard view. Reality Check: Donkey poop everywhere. 6 PM: Sunset in Oia with Assyrtiko wine. Emotional Damage: Permanent. Day 6: Crete 🇬🇷 12 PM: Ate dakos salad at a taverna where the owner fed me free raki. Result: Nap on the beach. 8 PM: Failed to learn sirtaki dancing. Verdict: Blame the raki. Day 7: At Sea All Day: Recovered from ouzo-induced decisions and Googled "how to move to Greece." Final Verdict: 1000/10, left sunburnt, spiritually reborn, and aggressively planning my Greek citizenship. Yamas! 🍷