Shanghai Flower Viewing Blood and Tears Story! These 18 Traps Made Me Cry Like a Dog in the Cherry Blossom Rain

Listen up, folks! Last week at Gucun Park, I got my face swollen from scarves whipped by aunties 😤 Flower viewing assassins in the Magic City are unstoppable! I stayed up all night organizing 18 deadly traps—after reading this, you can save the money for 10 concealers! 🚗 Transportation Assassin Collection: ❌ Hongkou Football Stadium Line 8 Exit 6 = Spring Festival travel chaos! After 9 AM, it’s packed chest to back. To catch trains passing through flowers, you must stake out before 7 AM (bring a folding stool to stand on a trash can for shots) ❌ Chenshan Botanical Garden Gate 1 = Hell on earth! Sneak in from Gate 3 to the mining pit garden, which monopolizes the entire riverside cherry blossom forest 🌸 Tested Red and Black List (original routes kept + pit avoidance tested): ✅ Binjiang Forest Park Wild Play: Rush to Phase 2 Xilin Grass Hill with plastic bags! Security checks shoe covers to prevent flower trampling (don’t ask how I know 😭) After shooting the blue flower sea, immediately move to the riverside; 4 PM backlight shots of Yangtze cargo ships + flower sea are killer! ✅ Jiaotong University Minhang Campus Death Spot: Don’t foolishly stand at Gate 5 red wall! Circle to the east side of the Electrical Engineering lawn, use a 200mm telephoto to compress space, cherry blossoms will blur right onto your face 📸 Photo Suicide Awards: ⚠️ Lujiazui Central Green Space Four-Piece Set = Looks like migrant workers moving bricks! Squat by the drainage ditch on the left side of the “Returning Oasis” sculpture, invert your phone and shoot on the ground, tulips instantly grow 2 meters tall ⚠️ Longhua Temple Magnolia, don’t shoot upwards! Under the eaves of the thousand-year-old temple, bring a reflector; wear Hanfu in lotus purple, yellow monk robes will randomly intrude into your shot 🌷 Flower Season Death Timetable: 🔴 Nanyuan Riverside Tulips: Must rush before 3/20! In April, lavender will be planted and the soil turned over (don’t trust navigation status) 🔴 Botanical Garden Cherry Blossom Rain: From 3/25 to 4/5, water sprays create rain at 10 AM sharp daily; bring a transparent umbrella and stand on the peony garden stone bridge to shoot 👗 Outfit Assassin Warning: ❌ Don’t wear white dresses at Qinjian Spring Garden! Tulips and cherry blossoms together will wash out colors; taro purple JK + bow hair accessories are the ultimate combo ❌ At Minhang Cultural Park shooting magnolias, bring trekking poles! The purple flowering trees are on the Greek-style castle roof, climbing the wall requires core strength 💪 💡 Life-Saving Tips: 1️⃣ Bring a folding ladder when shooting Nanpu Bridge on Miaojiang Road! Security will pretend not to see 2️⃣ At Wenshui Road Metro Exit 4 overpass, shoot from above; cover your phone with a plastic bag to prevent dropping 3️⃣ At Lu Xun Park “Beidashan” waterfall spot, wear non-slip socks; moss is slippery enough to do the splits 4️⃣ Bring a fake student ID! Save 40 yuan on Jiaotong University/Botanical Garden tickets (shh 🤫) Flower seasons in the Magic City vary! Quickly save this guide and tag your mischievous sisters to rush!