Guest User
October 13, 2024
No chintz here If you like your hotels to be soulless chintz palaces with marble lined receptions and Crystal candelabras, this is the wrong place for you, head to Dubai or a Hilton anywhere in the world. This hotel is a remote grey stone country house at the end of a three mile single track driveway. It needs a massive spend to bring this to four star 21st century luxury. There are few staff, the same young man tends the reception, bar and waits table. There are wellies in the hallway to facilitate guests exploration of the overgrown walled garden, the trail through the arboretum, the walk to the tennis court, graveyard or down to the lochside or the jetty. The public rooms are sumptuous with settees and armchairs. Statues dominate the centre of the lounge. The widows of the dining room, bar and lounge look down over unkempt lawn to the loch beyond. The walls are decorated with oil paintings, they need a second look. Some are straight forward still life pictures of flowers but the portraits have been overpainted with the heads of pop stars. The large one in the dining room has Mick Jagger, Ringo Star, Rod Stewart and Brian Ferry attending a business meeting. Also appearing in the hall are theory Bee Gees and Michael Jackson. The bedroom we were in,Awe, was comfortable and warm. The central heating didn’t work but heat came from an oil filled electric radiator. The TV was about 18 inches, there were two remote controls, neither of which wanted to cooperate in showing TV programs. There was a router in the room but no wifi. My only real complaint was the lack of a shower. It didn’t matter this is a retreat into an isolated, wild part of the country and from the interuption of modern communications and entertainment. The menu is small and traditionally formed. The food is well cooked and efficiently served. The dining room has great views though the lighting is to say the least subdued. The noise of conversation is regularly interrupted by the sound of the dumb waiter delivering meals. The wine list is again small but perfectly formed. The bar has a selection of local bottled ales, malt whiskies and boutique gins. I loved the place though it would have been nicer without the incessant rain. A perfect retreat for a weekend break from the 21st century.