D'Pristine Dinosaur (3Pax) Wifi by RR JBcity

Honestly, if "zero stars" were an option, it would still be a generous assessment for this hotel. I can truly say that my experience of attempting - yes, just attempting - to find this place was nothing short of a fever-induced nightmare. TLDR: YOU JUST CAN NOT FIND THE PLACE!!! The chaos started with the woefully inadequate online representation of the hotel's location. A storm was raging, and still, I battled the elements, trusty GPS in hand, only to arrive at...a forest. Excuse me, but the last time I checked, enchanted woodland retreats wasn't what I signed up for! In an attempt to rectify my initial error, I cross-referenced the location with another online booking site and followed their map only to be led a merry dance around corners, under bridges, and through the city labyrinth. I half expected a Minotaur to come charging at me when I finally stumbled upon the alleged hotel building. Upon finding "The Building," which at this point felt like discovering El Dorado after a career of unsuccessful treasure hunting, I was greeted with the unhelpful and officious nature of the security guard. Instead of assisting me, he demanded the tower number, a piece of information no sane establishment would expect its guests to know upon arrival. With guidance from the receptionist, I had to navigate the Kafkaesque challenge of walking from one building to another, seemingly designed by a lovesick Escher enthusiast, only to discover there was no way to drive in. In what I can only describe as an unplanned tour of the city's underwhelming security personnel, I was obstructed by not one, not two, but FOUR more security guards, all asking for a magical "lobby number," apparently, the key to enter this labyrinthine fortress. After enduring 40 agonizing minutes in an frustrating quest to find this enigma of a hotel, I decided my sanity was more valuable. I hastily demanded a free cancellation, with the grim satisfaction that they had lost a customer. Branding this so-called hotel as a 'scam' isn't merely an accusation, it's an undeniable reality. It doesn't just misunderstand guest hospitality and service, it bulldozes over it with a level of incompetence and sheer disregard that is unparalleled. The management should be utterly ashamed of themselves. Avoid this place like the plague. I wouldn't wish this horrific experience on my worst enemy.

Near to legoland!